No one

Expects the Spanish Inquisition. Or the jumping inside-outside crescent kick.


I am pretty tired, but testing went very, very well. It was individualized in a better way this year, so everyone more or less got pushed to their limits. I wasn't testing, but I went through most of the second day with everyone, and it was good. It is far, far, far more relaxing to be on the judging side than the testing side, even when being put through your paces.

I'm getting a little ahead of myself, I guess. I seem to have that problem sometimes.


The week started out with a bit of illness. My stomach basically stopped moving; breakfast Saturday sat like a rock and didn't move until Sunday night, I think. K and C came over for dinner, but I was not very good company. The food was quite good—a Latinized version of chicken and rice, pineapple soup with a touch of habañero, and some guac and sour cream dip. C also made a chocolate chip cake for dessert. I had promised them the world's best coffee, and it didn't quite work out that way; they left not too long after dinner. We had hoped to watch a movie or play some games and I just wasn't up for it.

I certainly ate too much, since nothing was moving in my stomach, but I think the pepper may have gotten the juices flowing a little bit. I am not a fruits person at all—about the only fruit I can tolerate is a hard red apple. I love the smell of fruits (especially lemon and orange) but the texture leaves a lot to be desired. The last time I had a banana, I almost hurled all over everyone. That said, the chilled soup was good.


Sunday was a day off. I went to bed around 11 on Saturday night, then got up around 11 on Sunday morning. There was a lot of tossing and turning involved—it was not restful sleep in the least, and I got up once or twice because I thought I was going to toss my cookies. Fortunately, none of the sweets escaped the jar, if you know what I mean. I was up Monday morning around 2:45 to 3:30 and then went back to sleep. I took work off on Monday, though I did some things from home.

Tuesday through Thursday were basically about as expected: a bit of work, a bit of teaching, trying not to slack off too much. I did NOT sleep well during the week at all. I don't need to sleep a lot, but I need it to be good sleep. (If I sleep too long, my back hurts and I am grumpy.) So I was not in a good mood Friday. But the new computers for work came, and I am finally possessed of a true-blue Linux machine, and that is very pleasing. I also moved into the kitchen cube at work, because it has a better climate. And I will no longer be the first line of defense at the door (which is fantastic).

At 11:30, I packed my bags and left for RenAcad for an instructors' clinic that ran from 12-4pm. It was good—a lot of good insights, but it is going to take a lot of time to develop the skills necessary. That point was driven home as I was given the three most problematic children (from a teaching perspective) the gym has to offer to teach that night. It was absolutely brutal.

The clinic featured a "Smart board," which is really cool. It's actually very similar in some ways to what I worked on in Florida, except the input devices are electronic whiteboard markers instead of guns. The computer desktop is projected onto an electronic whiteboard of sorts that accepts tactile input from fingers or other devices.

We had some pictures that we analyzed for angles and other things. It was my first modelling gig. Sniff sniff.


The test started at six on Friday and ran until six Saturday. The general format of the test is a graded portion the first day and survival on Saturday. All technical material, breaks, fighting, and so on happens on Friday. Saturday is mostly PT, but finishes with instructional time and a thorough cleaning of the studio.

Saturday began at three in the morning this year with a wakeup call for some stance work and other drills. We let them go back to sleep around 3:30, except for two students who had made a couple unfortunate errors in judgment; they slept in horseback stance for about half an hour or forty-five minutes before they were sent back to their sleeping bags. It was probably not a fun test for them.

I went through most of the second day with the testees, mostly to see if I could. They were a lot nicer to me this year than they could've been; I basically had shoulder isolation and stance work, but they did not make me carry as much as the other guys at all. We did forms from top to bottom, restarting several times because of mistakes. That was just a little annoying, but I was really surprised I could do it at all.

After that was all-on-one fighting, which is easily the hardest part of the test from a cardio standpoint. Fighting twenty people in a row (conservatively) is really quite difficult. B went down with what I think was an MCL tear. He was in a lot of pain, and we all felt quite bad for him. He is going to see a doctor today to learn the extent of the damage and what needs to be done to patch him up. I'll probably ring him to find out later on this afternoon. He was quite vocal about how he felt, though much more controlled than I would've been in a similar situation. (None of the little'uns were subjected to the expletives that would've been boiling out of my lungs.)

I was prepared to take him to the hospital, but he declined. No real swelling, which is good, and we iced it immediately. The test continued apace while we tended to him, the fighters skirting the scene.

B's a good guy. I'm going to miss having him around for awhile.


In any case, I was able to get in on the action a bit here, and it was good. I gave a couple good licks to some of the rougher students. More than one of the candidates have issues with arrogance. I know this because I have the same sort of issues; recognizing problems in others is easier when you can see them in yourself, too. But at least one of them regularly picks smaller juniors to fight, against whom he is quite proficient. So I tagged him a couple times pretty well.

After the fighting was lunch. K was visiting for a little while, and she was invited along to the powwow and enjoyed it, I think. She then spend a bit of time watching us stand in horseback stance, holding out our arms. That lasted for about an hour, and my shoulders are talking to me a little bit about it today. Tomorrow will be worse.


We continued with plenty of PT and other fun drills, and then proceeded to an instructional part where we cleaned up some old material and learned some new. When this was finished, we had another round of stance training, some preaching, and then bowed out. Everyone changed and then we cleaned the gym. I was responsible for doing the white glove testing (I used a finger instead; they're about the same color), so I more or less coordinated everyone.

We had some really good conversation about the way that martial arts skills apply in the "real" world, and I was really pleased with it.


On the whole, the test went really, really well, and I was glad to be a part of it. Afterward, though, there is always a bit of a letdown. The endorphins drop, I suppose, and the weariness sets in. That, and the smell, which is pretty atrocious. It really is something of a singular event for the participants. I'm glad to be a part of it, to push a little bit and make it a little more special. I hope it added something for them, anyway.

I have lots to do, and certainly some work to make up from this past week. K is going to have some computer surgery this afternoon, and I may be doing some tech support for Grandma today also. So for now, I have to go away and hope that tacos aren't on the menu for lunch today.