Survived

So I survived the test. It was a long day, arriving at noon for an instructor's clinic that went until four. Master C's 6th Dan test started at five and went until 6:30. I can't say much about it, except to say he gave me this:



He did well, though the first side kick he threw popped out his hip; I think I was the only one who picked up on it during the test, but I bragged about his pain tolerance to everyone.

My test started at seven. It went well. I don't have any media from the test yet. I took no pictures, but D took some, and there should be video as well. I'd like to see it. Both D (not the picture taker) and I failed breaking. It was the subject of most concern for us, and while our preparation was as good as it could have been, I think, it was not enough for me to hit the triple side kick.

Personally that's very difficult for me. While I have, I think, met the external standards necessary to pass the test (and I did pass), I failed to reach my personal standard, and that was very disappointing. D was upset, too. We did not retest; it's a final score. As Master C says, it's a different kind of motivation.

L came to the test after a super busy day at work; I guess the place kind of exploded on her, and it was a little touch and go for awhile. E came up from B'more for the test, which was really nice, and he joined in with the fam cheering me on. P also showed up, somewhat unexpectedly; but he has a generous heart, and I think he was pleased to come. He said it made him want to get back into Tae Kwon Do, so I guess that's something.

Saturday was the beating day for the dan candidates; it was punishing. D is in school for physical therapy, and he knows all sorts of things to beat the everliving fear out of people. We hurt their sleeping habits worse than usual and put them through some interesting callisthenics. You, um, might say that we put them through their callisthenics callously.

Anyway, it was a rough night, and we made people cry right then. But they all made it. A lot of them showed more mental and physical tenacity than they thought they would. One guy lost his aunt in a sudden car accident the week prior and showed a lot of courage. One guy testing for 3d dan did so with diabetes and other issues, and he did well.

We pushed a lot of people to their breaking point, both physically and psychologically. The latter part fell to me, which is out of character and difficult. Basically I beat them for doing what I said and beat them more if they did what I didn't say. They were confused and it was hard. But it was purposeful and I hope conveyed our expectations at least of their etiquette. Nonetheless, making people cry is not something I really consider that fun. And I am pretty sure I made nearly everyone cry.

I'm glad to say that Master C felt it was the best test run. He felt it was a little overdone for some, maybe two or three, but it was hard. D did a lot of the planning for it, but I did my little parts, too, and it contributed overall to a very successful day. I may write more about it. The experience is still a little close, and I am sorting things out from it. I am kind of disappointed in myself, but still glad to be where I am.

There were a lot of lessons. Some about grace, some even about canonicity (how apropos), and so on. I don't know exactly how this would be different if I had passed breaking. I will say that each of the students that I had did their part correctly—they didn't treat breaking like an exercise in neuroticism. There is a very definite way in which they represent me...and so it was nice to see that they all did well.

It's late. The weather has been insane, and I'll have pictures at some point, hopefully soon. One guy passed me on the way to work Friday (power was still out there, by the way) with a video camera out his sunroof.