But life really is like taking a dump. If you're patient, it tends to come out cleaner. The drier it is, the more it hurts. Sometimes it just kind of runs out of you. And you never want to be the one who holds it in at work for so long that you explode all over the toilet and make everything smell even nastier in the bathroom than normal. I have never done that. No, seriously.
Other things that aren't fun: cutting your gums with floss, getting your project budget cut, strung-out look from no sleep, dirty fingernails.
Unexpectedly, life makes me nicer to people.
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